


Jaemin's Letter

by slhyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a happy ending(?), Fashion Designer Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Na Jaemin Are Best Friends, M/M, Model Osaki Shotaro, Photographer Na Jaemin, Shotaro best bf, What happened to jaemin? idk you decide, hurt/comfort ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29404854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slhyuck/pseuds/slhyuck
Summary: Lee Donghyuck reading Na Jaemin's letter
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Osaki Shotaro
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Jaemin's Letter

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this has many grammatical errors, i changed some parts half asleep
> 
> hope you enjoy !!!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/sfwritesfs)

Inside the room of Na Jaemin, you will find Lee Donghyuck sitting on his dear friend's bed reading his letter for him. His heart, shattered from too much pain; he reads the letter, it says:

  
  


'My dearest, Lee Donghyuck: the love of my life' 

  
  


Donghyuck smiled though his eyes were dull, you could only see his sadness and misery. He continues to read;

  
  


'Hi there sunshine, how are you? I hope you're doing perfect as you always do.' 

  
  


"Nana I'm sorry but I… I'm not perfect, I Never I was. I feel so empty, I don't feel anything. Nana I BECAME NUMB!" Donghyuck accidentally yelled, he was shaking eyes are fear stricken. "Nana I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout, Nana I'm sorry, I swear I really am." the tan male apologized to the other even if he wasn't there, Donghyuck was slowly rocking his body back and forth to calm himself down.  _ To remind himself that Jaemin isn't there anymore _ . 

  
  


'I may not be there anywhere close to you but I know you're hurting, please don't I swear I'm doing greater than you think I am though it's too peaceful here for my liking.' 

  
  


"Nana… I know you're here, you  **_must_ ** be here. How couldn't you be here, I can feel your presence please don't play with me. I don't like this prank, come out now please. Nana I miss you please…. please." with his voice trembling he kept pleading as he read. 

  
  


'I admit I miss your sweet honey-toned voice that would sing for me in the middle of the dead silent night when I'm having trouble falling asleep or in the very early hours of the day for us to be energized up until our rest.' 

  
  


Donghyuck smiled once again, he sang "You are my sunshine… my only sunshine…" a sniff interrupted his singing, voice still trembling and body shaking he continues "You make me happy when skies are grey…." tears threatening to fall he doesn't mind them not even a single bit "You'll never know dear….. how much I love you….." then there they come, the waterworks are now here. "Please… don't take… my sunshine…. a-way~" as he croaked the last word of the verse, he screeched in pain tears fell down faster than before.

"My voice isn't honey, it isn't like a nightingale's who's tone is so lovely. Mine's a shriek of an eagle who's in deep pain because of the hunter's bullet that pierced onto its wing." Donghyuck remembered he still had a letter to read, again slowly rocking his body to calm down he continued it. 

  
  


'Oh to see your golden skin that glows brighter than any star, and do not get me started on your personality not only does your golden skin compare to the stars so does your entire existence though it doesn't limit it to the stars but to the brightest quasar that shines with the light of 600 trillion suns. Call me a nerd or a dork, I don't care; it may be cheesy but it's true how I wish that you know how powerful you are.'

  
  


The tan male shaked his head and chuckled. "Oh Nana, if only you could see how your dear best friend is right now you would be disgusted and disappointed." he stopped to look at himself, "My skin is pale now, not only that it is also as dull as the void. My personality? Well, Nana I'm very much sorry but if you're pointing out about the past Donghyuck who was sunshine and bubbly that….. that isn't me anymore. I'm not loud, I scare everyone who looks into my eyes even our friends are scared of me now. I don't know how to make it up with them without you know… scaring them to death." Donghyuck chuckled like the last time, but now it was dry & very much painful if you hear it. 

"And also, brightest quasar? Nana you really are a nerd and a dork, you are  **_my_ ** nerdy dork. Well at least  **_were my nerdy dork_ ** ." he looked at the letter he doesn't want to read it anymore but at the same time he wants to read it until he falls unconscious. 

  
  


'Making me fall in love for the first time in my entire life the first time I saw you. Yes I do regret that I didn't tell you that I did before I took my leave (may it be forever or temporarily who knows god might give me another chance)' 

  
  


Donghyuck started to laugh hysterically "Nana you dumbass!!" he yelled louder than he did before "I love you too… I love more than a friend, I love you so much that it hurts. Why didn't you say it to me? We could have been together right now on a lovely date. NANA YOU COWARD TELL ME WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY TO ME YOU LOVE ME?!?" he was angry…. or was he? no he isn't, Donghyuck is in despair now he has gone mad. He is so in pain, he's so hurt that those negativity evolved into despair. He laughs again, more hysterical than before it was so much for him that he got lightheaded. 

He fell into the bed, his arms covering his eyes, he sighed "Nana your not a coward I'm sorry I swear I didn't mean to say that to you. If there was a coward between us two it's me, look at me I'm crying and have been caught by despair." he let out all of the air almost forgetting how to breathe in. 

"I really love you Nana, I wish you're here. I love you so much can you please come back now? I want to give you kisses and hugs that you deserve, I wanna cuddle with you and watch cheesy rom-coms in the cinema or binge watch netflix shows in either of our rooms." his tears can't be hidden this long as it starts to pour out again. 

  
  


'I'm not anywhere near you physically though I just know that you are crying please don't….. well unless you're crying because of my foolishness if you have another reason for crying and if that reason is somehow connected to me I'm begging you don't waste your tears for an individual who's so moronic.'

  
  


"No no no no no no no NO THIS CAN' T BE!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT HERE PHYSICALLY? I CAN FEEL YOUR PRESENCE I CAN SEE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! NANA WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Donghyuck again screamed out of despair, catching his breath he blinked a couple of times then started looking around, no one was there. He swore Jaemin was there earlier, he knew ahe was there earlier the figure was so clear to him he couldn't understand. He saw the letter in his hand which has brought him back to reality, the reality where jaemin isn't there with him anymore. What a sad reality said no one. 

"You're not a moron, you're not just a friend to me you were my everything. I wake up in the morning just for you, what do you mean 'don't waste your tears for an individual who's so moronic'? You were never a foolish person, you're so worth it that I can't even let you go." Donghyuck is really deep in despair now though even if he is, his love for Jaemin stays and remains. No matter what you do to him, the love for the one who's already gone never goes away. It really is sad. 

'If letters and gifts suddenly appear on your doorstep or mail, accept it please. It's from me, I planned it all before my leave it's the least thing I can do after causing you so much pain, I wish it didn't end up like this but here we are… anyway don't worry about it.'

"What… you…. planned all of this? You… planned your leave? But…. why? Why would you do this?" his voice was dry, this throat felt like a desert. "I love you, I love, I love you. I swear nana it's true. I love whatever your gifts are, every word and letter you put on your messages. I love them all." 

  
  


'Back to when i fell for you. Do you remember back then at third grade was it? We were playing around but then you stole my diary- I meant journal not diary, you won't give it back to me so I had to use force I was trying to reach from you but you were taller than me at that time (I outgrew you once we were at our early twenties) 

Donghyuck's heart turned soft. The darkness was clearing up a bit, yes only a bit. Not fully because he knew that the love of his life isn't there…. in his life. "Of course I remember that nana, you know… I took your diary- well journal you say. I took it because I wanted you to pay attention to me, looking back at it now it's really silly." there he imagined them together besides each other he can clearly see Jaemin being taller than him. He giggled "You all grew taller, it's unfair!" he complained jokingly. 

  
  


'And when you thought I wasn't there you turned around so you can give it back for real but I was still there; your pretty face with the cute mole constellation was very close to face by that I mean we almost kissed. I always wanted to feel your soft plump lips against mine…. I never got to, I guess that's the closest that I can get.'

  
  


He touched his right cheek where most of his moles were laying, his hands were hot against it and he could feel the tear path which was made due to him sobbing his heart off. "Nana please come back so I can kiss you for real this time." he sounds so broken though he doesn't want to admit that he is. 

  
  


'Oh I remember, the last time you told me you had a crush on the newbie model what was his name again…… Jung was it? Wait no, it's the japanese one right? Was it Osaki Tarochan? No, I remember it now it’s Osaki Shotaro, hm? How's it going? Are you together now? Hey if he does something bad to you I will not hesitate to fight him.'

  
  


Reading the part where Jaemin struggled remembering his ‘ _ crush’s _ ’ name made Donghyuck laugh “He…. he’s doing really good actually he doesn’t seem like a rookie. Be also helps me a lot, since you know…. your leave.” Donghyuck smiled “So don’t worry about him too much, he’s a great guy.” he added with a soft voice “Nana, it’s just a silly crush right?” the phrase made him laugh because the boy mentioned isn’t his  _ ‘crush’  _ anymore. 

  
  


‘Speaking of model….. you know I really love your designs, I wish I was the one who's taking photographs of your masterpiece collection. Maybe someday in another life or time we would be together and I'm the one who takes pictures of your masterpiece of clothes. Another life where we would spend our lifetime together…. hey. Can you wish or even manifest that for me? That's my only favour that I will ask you, in this life even in others.’

"I love your photography more;” he continued “Nana... don’t worry, you need to say that I’m already praying, wishing and manifesting that in another life we are together happily.” Donghyuck sighed looking up to the ceiling he continued “Let’s just hope destiny hears our wishes and let it be real.” his voice was soft and quiet, he again stared at the letter he didn't want to read anymore though it was almost the end he can tell since the paper isn’t that long.

  
  


‘Ah… I'm running out of space to write, stupid paper. I wrote this in a paper because it would somehow be more romantic than in a form of text on the phone, you know like how the past did it.’

  
  


He was right that it was almost the end of the letter “You dork really, the past? I absolutely cannot with you,” Donghyuck giggled “My dork…..” he whispered under his own breath, “Nana you do know that I don’t really care where it’s written right? As long that it’s genuine and from you. Thanks for your effort though, I appreciate it so much.”

  
  


‘Again my dear Donghyuckie, stay the way as you are when we met. My happy sunshine boy, the love of my life…. my everything. You are so perfect in all aspects that I can't even explain it with words nor numbers, I love you so much that nothing can express how I do.’ 

  
  


“I love you more nana seriously. I’ll try my best to be back on my feet again for you…. and for me, I swear.” he wanted to, he really does but no tears were seen at that moment Donghyuck’s eyes were dry. He can’t breathe properly on his nose that’s why he’s throat was like the desert, dry.

  
  


‘My dearest darling Lee Donghyuck, I love you to the moon and back. If we ever meet again, I will not make the same mistake I promise you, though if I did then I will despise myself forever. Stay safe in the world full of danger my forever soulmate.’

-Your everything in every life, Na Jaemin

  
  


“Na Jaemin, the love of my life. The love of mine in every life. I love you more than all the stars in any universe, I’ll make sure that we will meet again one day. Maybe in another lifetime we will, I will find you with all might. You didn’t make any mistake in this life, please don’t hate yourself. Stay safe too my dear love, you don’t whatever is there.” Donghyuck managed to say without stuttering, he held this throat then gulped. 

He looked at the window on the far right inside the room, it was still bright, he reminded himself that he went to the house at the break of dawn because later that day they were gonna remove all his things out of the house, he pulled his phone to check the time. ‘12:44pm’ it says along with the 30 missed calls and 40+ messages from his friends, he knew it was time to go home.

  
  
  


“Donghyuck, oh my god!” the soft and worried yell of his boyfriend is the first thing he heard as he got home, his boyfriend ran to him and hugged him tightly and said “Hyuckie, where were you?” Donghyuck’s body was a bit stiff but soon enough it warmed up to the hug as he returned it then buried his face to the taller’s chest. “You know where I was…” he whispered softly “Are you…. How do you feel right now?” the hug loosen up a bit but Donghyuck hugged the other tightly “Don’t worry Taro, I’m okay. I just missed him, strangely I found a message by him.” he let go to show his boyfriend, Shotaro the letter.

“Have you read it?” Shotaro smiled, making Donghyuck feel relief returning the smile. “Mhm, of course I did. It might be so important so yeah.” his boyfriend humed as he ruffled Donghyuck’s hair and smiled at him, butterflies appeared at Donghyuck’s stomach which made him smile back to the other “C’mon Duckie, let’s go inside I bet you’re hungry because you didn’t ate last night I’m guessing you didn’t before you left.” Shotaro pouted and Donghyuck is very whipped. 

“Taro~” he sang “You know me so well.” Donghyuck clung to his boyfriend’s arm as they walk to Donghyuck’s house as soon as they got to the door they heard someone knocking at the gate they look back at the same time to see a delivery man holding a bouquet “Did you-” before Donghyuck finished his sentence he saw Shotaro shaking his head no.

Donghyuck ran to the gate “Hello? What is it?” he asked the man “Delivery for Lee Haechan, is that you sir?” then it hits Donghyuck;  _ Haechan  _ the name ran through his mind because only two people can call him that minus his parents those two people are Shotaro who said he didn’t order it and Jaemin who is gone “Uh yes, that’s me.” the delivery man nodded as he handed donghyuck a pen to sign the receival of the order, he looked at the bouquet it wrote;  **_Your dearest best friend and everything else you want me to be, Na Jaemin_ ** with a heart at the end. 

Donghyuck looked at what time the bouquet was delivered, it was 13:08pm…… Jaemin's birthday 

Donghyuck smiled and looked up to the sky as he said thanks to Jaemin indirectly, he ran back to his boyfriend who was waiting for him at the door “Who was it from?” Shotaro asked though to Donghyuck his boyfriend already knows who it was from, it's not that he doesn't want to say who the bouquet is from but he was struggling "uhh you know…… Jaemin." Donghyuck said as his head hung low. 

Shotaro smiled and lifted Donghyuck's face up by his chin then faced him "It's okay Duckie, he is your first love I can't do anything about that. I know that he has a special place in your heart, and I know that I have my own place there too." Shotaro looked at Donghyuck's eyes and saw tears threatening to fall, he pulled Donghyuck closer to him "I love you so much Taro, I really do." Shotaro hummed as he guided the other back inside the house.

"Taro I want to talk to our friends again but I think they hate me." Donghyuck quietly said "Hyuckie, I promise you they aren't mad at you nor do they hate you. In fact they actually miss you, do want me to arrange a get together or something?" Donghyuck nodded quickly, making Shotaro's whipped heart melt. 

As they got to the house after Donghyuck got inside, Shotaro looked up at the sky and whispered "Thank you for taking care of Donghyuck when you were still here. We miss you."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for read hope you enjoy !!!!! leave kudos & comments !!!!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/sfwritesfs)


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